It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
