I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize