You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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