Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think my vagina is haunted
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
