I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
