I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
