Will you blow on my dice?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
