She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
