I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
