She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
