you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
