Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
