1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize