i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
