remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize