How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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