Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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