i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
