what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
