I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
