I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
