She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
