Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
