i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
