Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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