Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
