There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
