As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My liver just had a heart attack.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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