Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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