lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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