she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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