I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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