do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
