i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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