His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
