You're so nebulous sometimes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
