My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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