i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
