So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
