ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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