Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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