did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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