Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
