I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize