Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize