soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize