I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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