Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
