I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
