You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
where are my eyebrows?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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