I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
