tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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