I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When did angry sex become our thing?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
