And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
