i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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