Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
