I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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