I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
