Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
