do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
