looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
