btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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