the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
