One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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