there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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